Simmering
by thequeershoulder
Summary: Hermione and Draco compete in potions, with rather explosive results. Dramione fluffy drabble - SEQUEL UP AS NEXT CHAPTER!
1. Round 1

Just another potions class.

"Miss Granger, what noxious mixture have you managed to create so far?" Snape was leaning over Hermione's shoulder, examining the perfect potion with dissapointment. "It's…passable…" he muttered, before sweeping away towards Malfoy's desk. "Malfoy… at least _you've _been working hard this afternoon."

But Snape's benelovent smirk quickly distorted into a look of extreme alarm. "However - unless you would like a detention scrubbing your own hair off the roof, I advise you to remove those billiwig tails from heat _this instant_!"

"Yes, Professor." Flushing faintly, Malfoy did as told, then glanced around embarrassedly to find Hermione hiding a small smirk at the desk opposite.

"Malfoy zero, Hermione one," she muttered into her textbook.

_Bloody mudblood, _Malfoy brooded, but soon his frown had disappeared. _So….that's the way she wants to play, hmm? _

He sauntered over to her table, and proceeded to lean lazily over her cluttered desk.

"Do you _mind_, Malfoy?" she snapped.

"Mind what, Granger?"

"Let me rephrase, ferretboy. Get off my table!"

"Touchy today, I see. How about redirecting some of that anger someplace more useful, Granger?"

"Well, that's what I was _doing_, until you came and -"

"And distracted you with my gorgeous face and blindingly blond hair?"

"Ha. Ha. Do you think you're some sort of basilisk of beauty or something? Honestly, I - _Hey!_ what was that you just took from my table? Did you just _steal _some of my frog teats?"

Malfoy shrugged, and continued. "So admit it."

"Admit what?"

"You're distracted by me."

"Of _course _I'm not distracted by you. Newsflash: I'm repulsed by you."

"Then why did you just add that billiwig tail to the potion while mixing _counterclockwise _over low heat?

"Uh…no I didn't."

"Uh_…yes, _you did."

Hermione frantically snatched up her textbook, then sighed with relief. "That's the way you're _supposed _to do it, Malfoy! Look, it says here…" Hermione frowned. "Hey_! _I saw you take that. Stop stealing my frog teats, frogspawn! Get some of your own!"

Malfoy was now stretching his powerful arms over his head, and smirked. "And now you've missed your chance to add the goat's brains. You were supposed to do it…oh…three stirs ago?

"Oh, buggerall. I can't believe I forgot - Malfoy, could you _please _leave, I'm really busy!"

There was a loud scrape as Malfoy pulled his chair awfully close to Hermione, who froze. "Malfoy. What are you doing?"

"Nothing, really." he said vaguely. Yawning, he shifted so that his thigh was pressed against Hermione's.

"Er…" Hermione was looked slightly dazed. "Oh yes - I was adding frog's teats. That's funny, I could have sworn I had a whole pile just now…wha-oh, Malfoy, _now _what are you doing?"

Malfoy was now leaning over her shoulder, pressing Hermione into the desk with his powerful frame. "Just looking…" He said in a low voice, close to Hermione's ear. "You don't mind_, _do you?"

"N-no….not at all, I was just…just going to read the pecipe, and stir the rotion. I- I mean read the potion, and stir the recipe. I mean - I mean -" The potion was bubbling and oozing a swamp green, noxious gas. "Oh - oh dear. Ok, I need to quickly add the legs, then stir twice vertically..then I need to.."

"Add the mugwump essence…"

"Yes, and -"

"Stir in the purified slug blood…"

"Yes…no, wait, don't I need to-"

"Emulsify the cigarettes…"

"Ok…wait, WHAT?"

"And then stir in Crookshank's eyeballs..."

"Malfoy, that is just-"

Draco was now grinning impishly as he stole another handful of frog teats. Hermione saw.

"DRACO MALFOY, WILL YOU **STOP **_GRABBING _MY TEATS!"

Everyone in the room stopped and stared, but before Hermione could squeak with embarassment, the entire dungeon resounded with a loud BOOM as her reeking cauldron exploded.

Snape looked as if Christmas had come early.

"My, _my _Miss Granger. What a mess. On the bright side, wearing noxious thick green potion on your face does improve your looks…" He smirks. "However, in the future, please refrain from broadcasting _any _more information about your chest to the class."

Hermione can almost feel the heat of Draco's smirk.

"Draco two, and Hermione one." he said airily, as he sauntered back to his desk_. _


	2. Round 2

Just another potions class - round 2.

"You have now been brewing your skin-salve potion for half an hour, and it should emit violet fumes when finished. For those of you who are _completely _hopeless, I will remind you that the aim is to brew the potion as fast as possible, so -"

Snape was interrupted as Hermione's potion began whistling and emitting violet fumes.

Snape scowled. "Miss Granger manages to surprise absolutely no one by finishing first," he sighed in a bored tone, "so _do_ forgive me if I forget to congratulate you."

But Hermione oozed self-satisfaction as she locked eyes with Draco. She didn't need to say it.

_Hermione one, Draco zero._ Game on.

Draco cast around the room for inspiration as he worked, and grinned as the idea came.

He cleared his throat. "Say, Crabbe…Do you, by any chance, have a copy of that wonderful and very informative book, 'Hogwarts: A History'?" he drawled, loudly.

Hermione snapped to attention, and her stirring became rather robotic.

"Because I've been wondering recently how the ceiling of the Great Hall _really _operates…" Malfoy was watching Hermione sideways, "and I mean, I've just been _dieing _to find out!" Crabbe, meanwhile, was rather more confused than normal.

Hermione's knuckles began turning white as she struggled to hold her mouth shut.

_So predictable_…Malfoy sighed internally, before drawling, "I just _wish_ I could find someone who knew a little more about it-"

"It'sbewitchedtolookliketheskyaboveit!" Hermione squeaked before she could stop herself, then clapped a hand to her mouth, looking guilty.

"Did you say something, Granger?"

"Er…well, I was only saying that the ceiling was bewitched to look like the sky above it in 1642 by Headmaster Amando and renovated in 1856 and 1858 by Headmaster Doolittle-" she glanced at Malfoy, and finished sheepishly, " - but it's just something I heard."

"Really? That _is _interesting, isn't it?" Malfoy had plastered a look of extreme interest on his face as he watched Hermione's abandoned potion bubble ever higher.

"It - It is?" A hopeful and slightly posessed look crept into Hermione's eyes. "I think so _too_, Malfoy! I'm _ever _so glad you agree, I think the history of Hogwarts is one of the most interesting things you could _possibly _read about! Harry and Ron don't think so - but I always carry around notes about it in my breast pocket just in case they - "

"What was that last bit, sorry?"

"I said I always keep notes in my breast pocket-"

"Still didn't catch it."

"My _BREAST _-"

"That is _enough_!" An irate-looking Snape had suddenly swept out of the shadows, glaring down at Hermione. "Miss Granger, _what _did I say yesterday about public references to your chest in my class? Because I, for one, have had enough of your vulgar mouth and, moreover, find the thought of your…private anatomy… _absolutely_ disgusting." He stalked away.

Draco sighed contentedly and leant back in his chair. "Malfoy one, Granger one." he said offhandedly. "That was quite a rant - you've got some froth there on the side of your mouth."

Hermione glared at him.

Malfoy shrugged. "What? Only helping you out."

Hermione was about to answer, when her abandoned cauldron overflowed and toppled over with a loud bang. Her entire potion gushed onto the floor.

"I stand corrected," Malfoy said. "Malfoy two, Granger one. I win again." He smirked, grabbed his book bag, and left with the bell.

Hermione was left fuming, not noticing her potion begin to eat away her socks.


	3. Round 3

Just another potions class - round 3.

Hermione and Draco were waiting outside the classroom for potions to begin.

Draco turned to Hermione. "So, Granger, ready to play?"

"Play _what_, Malfoy?"

"Oh please, Granger, _use _that brain that everyone keeps raving about."

Hermione sniffed haughtily. "I have no idea what you are talking about."

"You know, the game were we compete in potions. That one that I always win, usually after making you bellow something inappropriate about your breasts?"

"That doesn't _always _happen!" Hermione retorted, and coloured. "And I don't bellow!"

"Actually, it does, and you do. And now you've just admitted you know exactly what I'm talking about - you really are too easy."

Hermione was looking very miffed.

Draco continued. "To be honest, winning is getting a little boring. Any chance of you upping the anti?" he drawled cheerily.

Hermione fumed. "You _do _know that we have NEWTS in 96 days, don't you? These potions lessons are _really _important." She wrinkled her nose at him. "Why can't you just strangle yourself with your oversized ego and leave me in peace?"

Draco leaned closer in response, smirking. "But I don't _feel _like it. I like our game."

"What about accidentally swallowing some of that hair gel and poisoning yourself? That would work with me…"

Draco raised his eyebrows. "Don't really feel like that either. Sounds painful."

"Well, what about falling into your cauldron and simmering to death? You might even be reborn as a garden gnome, or something…" Hermione sighed dreamily at the possibilities. "Then I could finally get some work done in potions, while you waddle around being degnomed."

"Sadly, that doesn't really work for me either - gnomes are bald, for Merlin's sake." He pretended to shudder. "I couldn't risk losing this now, could I?" He patted his silver-blonde hair and smirked.

"You are vain. In the extreme."

"And _you _are a know-it-all with extremely bad comebacks. It's a good thing you're cute, otherwise I wouldn't be talking to you at all." At this, Draco sees a shy little smirk appear on Hermione's face, in spite of herself.

_Definitely cute_, he thought. M_aybe she's not _all _Gryffin-bore_… He was suddenly hit with a very strange urge to wipe the smirk off her face - with his tongue.

Hermione was readying to begin another verbal joust. "I wish-

Draco interrupted. "_I_ wish that you would just shut up, Granger." Seeing his plea was in vain, he sighed and did the only thing possible to keep her quiet - grabbing her chin, he pressed her into a kiss.

When he pulled away, Hermione was left looking up at him, slightly electrocuted and completely mute.

_Winning over Hermione Granger just got a thousand times more fun_, Malfoy thought, before leaning down and doing it again.

****

Five minutes later Draco and Hermione were snogging passionately against the wall.

Hermione's slightly hoarse voice is heard. "Malfoy, let's move over there - you're rubbing against my rack."

He sniggers, and Hermione squeaks in anger. "For the _love _of Merlin, I meant my _potion ingredients_ rack! And for the last time, I do _not _do public fondling, so will you stop trying to UNHOOK MY BRA!" Hermione's shrill voice echoed off the stone walls.

Unfortunately for Snape's sanity, the Potions Professor chose that moment to sweep into the corridor. Casting a disgusted look at what Malfoy was doing to Hermione's private anatomy, he sighed.

"I'm not even going to say it." he muttered, and resignedly began unlocking the classroom door.

-Fin-


End file.
